I don't just miss you; I find it hard to cope without you. It seems that i'm okay, it seems that things are perfectly fine. I laugh, I smile, I chat. I cry, I crash, I fall.
With you, things made sense, in a really crazy way. The world was turned upside down, and inside out, and it was hell on a daily basis. But it made sense, to us, in our own little way. The memories we share, will never leave me. With you, I may have been lost, but I was not alone in the maze. Now, as much as I try to fight this off, it starts sending me spinning. And this time, I am alone. It's a lonely one-stop-ride to wonderland.
Since you've been gone, I've built up walls all around me, and locked the world out. I painted a picture, a face with a smile but now it's become over worn. I believed, ignorantly, that by locking myself within this cage, I could somehow protect you. Wrapped up in smiles, and deluded deception; you would be safe. You could unlock yourself, free yourself from the cage; escape.
By doing this, however, I created a division. For some time, it was okay. The plan worked, or so it seemed, and you started to change. But then you slipped away, out of sight, and I could no longer read you. You were happy, I know that much, untill it turned over. It dragged you back in, and I know you have locked yourself up once more. You think I don't know, but I do. You have your 'friends' as I have mine, this time we're in two different worlds. I do not know if you see me, in my world, but I can see you in yours. Maybe it's like that glass, where you can see out of perfectly fine, but people cannot see in, and i'm on the inside. I'm banging on the glass, I'm crying and screaming, but it is no use. I am the walls I have built, and the smile on the face I have painted.
- When I said "I'd never go back there" I didn't know what I was saying, because I'd give anything for just one more day there again.
With you, things made sense, in a really crazy way. The world was turned upside down, and inside out, and it was hell on a daily basis. But it made sense, to us, in our own little way. The memories we share, will never leave me. With you, I may have been lost, but I was not alone in the maze. Now, as much as I try to fight this off, it starts sending me spinning. And this time, I am alone. It's a lonely one-stop-ride to wonderland.
Since you've been gone, I've built up walls all around me, and locked the world out. I painted a picture, a face with a smile but now it's become over worn. I believed, ignorantly, that by locking myself within this cage, I could somehow protect you. Wrapped up in smiles, and deluded deception; you would be safe. You could unlock yourself, free yourself from the cage; escape.
By doing this, however, I created a division. For some time, it was okay. The plan worked, or so it seemed, and you started to change. But then you slipped away, out of sight, and I could no longer read you. You were happy, I know that much, untill it turned over. It dragged you back in, and I know you have locked yourself up once more. You think I don't know, but I do. You have your 'friends' as I have mine, this time we're in two different worlds. I do not know if you see me, in my world, but I can see you in yours. Maybe it's like that glass, where you can see out of perfectly fine, but people cannot see in, and i'm on the inside. I'm banging on the glass, I'm crying and screaming, but it is no use. I am the walls I have built, and the smile on the face I have painted.
- When I said "I'd never go back there" I didn't know what I was saying, because I'd give anything for just one more day there again.
dear lord emily you have talent. and lots of it. even though its all true, its epic. im stoked. i know what you mean totally. its crazy to think we are all battling with the same old hassles and always belive we are the only ones. all alone. you arn't my dear. you arn't.
ReplyDeletei love you. dont ever forget. if you need me. ill be in the prayer room. come rain or shine. a pillow and a shoulder.
dont be affraid to ask.
peace
casper the original.none of this false pretenses shit.
xoxox