Future Looms

Okay, first thing is that I have 30lbs to lose.
and after the exams i'm going on a proper health kick, hopefully taking up pilates, going to start running again, and all that jazz. 30lbs to lose. And to be honest, I really don't care whether "i should eat more" because i have eaten far too much and gained 11 lbs.
yes, 11lbs! You'd think it's impossible eh? not in my case.

I'm also now thinking how close the future is. I do not want to grow up, I do not want to make decisions about my future. I want someone else to chose for me, I want to stay here forever and never grow up, I want to grown down.
I am terrified!

I have to chose what i'm doing at which Uni so soon, and I haven't got the faintest idea, all i know is:
I love reading.
I love writing.
I have a desire to be thin that fails consistently.

I can't imagine myself anywhere else.
I can't imagine myself all grown up, it's just scary! I know what i want, but I haven't a clue how to get there, and have trouble imagining myself there.
Well-off, with a big, yet cosy house in the countryside somewhere. A journalist. With rooms full of books, and books and more books.
and a reaaaaaaally big bed, and a gym.
:) and a dog.

OoohOooohOOoooh
i'm finally buying 2 of the books that I have wanted forevvvvvvvvvver! Because mum FINALLY let me buy them offline.
Wsted - Marya Hornbacher
and The Perks of being a Wallflower
:)

i need to go and revise now!
so, taaaaaaraaa for now.
30lbs to go [-0]

Quote:

“ I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love. So, that’s the dream I’m working on. ”