I'm not in a thinky mood, I fancy a quiz.
Explain what triggered your last kiss?
It was a goodbye.
Have you ever looked someone straight in the eyes and told them a lie?
A white lie, I think.
Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?
Reassuring words, especially from my sister.
If you could have anyone you want, who would it be?
Umm.
Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?
Of course.
What color are your eyes?
Brown.
Who was your crush in 5th grade?
Urrrrrrrm, Who knows.
About how many hours of sleep did you get last night?
About 5, not enough :(
Is your hair naturally straight?
I wishhhhhhhhhh.
Is there something you want to say to someone but can't/won't?
Obviously.
Do you wish anyone in particular was still in your life?
Yes.
Are relationships ever really worth it?
Yes, when you're both ready, they work that way.
Who sung the song you last listened to?
I can't remember.
Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
Not sure.
Who was the last person to text you?
Oh, i need to check my phone - as I last remember, L'retta.
What's the weather like outside?
Sunny and warm, loooovely.
Who are you thinking about right now?
The work I should go and do, now.
Do you believe exes could really ever be "just friends"?
I believe so, yeah. I am.
Did you sing at all today?
I always sing, whether my throat hurts or not, I just sing sing sing.
What is your current desktop picture?
A finger star.
How many people have you had feelings for this year?
2.
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?
Yes, because it's only people who mean a lot that can truly hurt you badly.
Is there something you're looking forward to?
Next years holiday, ahaha. Not sure.
The person you fell hardest for died today, how would you feel?
Feel so weirdly empty, and horrid. and numb.
If you were in the hospital would your number one come see you?
No doubt.
Its 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
One of my good friends, or my sister.
Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Yup, eventually.
To get with someone of the opposite sex, have you ever faked being drunk?
Nope.
Who was the last person in your bedroom?
Me,
Does sex mean love?
No!
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Yaha.
Are you mad at someone right now?
Myself.
What are you plans for tomorrow?
School, ballet.
When was the last time you talked to one of your friends?
Just a second ago.
Where will you be in an hour?
Doing work :(
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Urmmm, family friend.
Did you ever see the movie Pearl Harbor?
Yes, it's so sad.
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Mum.
Are you on a Laptop or Computer right now?
My laptop.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Time ticks past.
I am aware the picture does not really resemble my post at all. I don't care.
Time slips away, like a silent wind, blowing past. Like holding sand, and gripping so tight it slips right through your fingers. Like driving so fast, the trees become a blur of green, and you focus your eyes upon one thing, for it to be snatched away. It would not matter if I were to slow down, because looking around, everything, and everyone would be rushing around me, in a complete blur, a distant other world, that I could barely touch, let alone hold onto. But what if I can no longer rush amongst these other creatures? These other souls, that wear time upon their sleeves and the burden of it's lack becomes evident.
STOP, rewind.
STOP, rewind.
Friday, 5 June 2009
Fall back into my life.
I need you back in so many more ways than one. You kept my feet on the ground. You knew, and you didn't run away. You didn't pretend it was unreal, you believed, you helped; you listened. I miss you, come back, i need you.
I thought I was going to be okay, and if it is selfish to say I want you back, then so be it. I am selfish. You made me secure, you let me open up, and let you in. You left, and my heart broke and spilt out everywhere. Pieces were left around, and i have to gather them up.
But none of that matters.
I miss you.
selfish, or not selfish. I know people do not see you as I do, and may not understand, or even remotely care.
But please, fall back into my life, soon.
I thought I was going to be okay, and if it is selfish to say I want you back, then so be it. I am selfish. You made me secure, you let me open up, and let you in. You left, and my heart broke and spilt out everywhere. Pieces were left around, and i have to gather them up.
But none of that matters.
I miss you.
selfish, or not selfish. I know people do not see you as I do, and may not understand, or even remotely care.
But please, fall back into my life, soon.
"You're too young to not believe it's all going to be okay."
001.
I hate myself for needing this.
I love this twisted little mess.
I know it's wrong but it just feels right.
The taste of tears is bittersweet tonight.
002.
I like people who have a sense of individuality.
I love expression and anything awkward and
imperfect, because that's natural and that's real.
003.
Every single person has at least one secret
that would break your heart.
If we could just remember this,
I think there would be a lot more
compassion and tolerance in the world.
004.
it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.
it's funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. it's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started.
when feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want.
when you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start.
So you don't say a thing, and everything changes, and you look back and think;
"If only"
Today is a calm day. I'm reading "wasted" and it's amazing:)
I also have dancing, which is not so.
I hate myself for needing this.
I love this twisted little mess.
I know it's wrong but it just feels right.
The taste of tears is bittersweet tonight.
002.
I like people who have a sense of individuality.
I love expression and anything awkward and
imperfect, because that's natural and that's real.
003.
Every single person has at least one secret
that would break your heart.
If we could just remember this,
I think there would be a lot more
compassion and tolerance in the world.
004.
it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.
it's funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. it's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started.
when feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want.
when you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start.
So you don't say a thing, and everything changes, and you look back and think;
"If only"
Today is a calm day. I'm reading "wasted" and it's amazing:)
I also have dancing, which is not so.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Curiosity, of course, killed the cat.
"I just wanted to know what would happen"
What I was unaware of was that this would happen, over and over again, it would manifest itself inside me, and grow, pushing me out of myself. It would take over my heart, and change me. Like living in a world of fun house mirrors. I can sit infront of a mirror, and feel like two people. I can dissociate myself from my reflection. I do not know why I do this, why I crave this, why I need this, why I chase this down, for it to pull me in and suffocate me. Naive, stupid, foolish girl. Like a blanket, I pull it up, and cover myself in it, I feel its warmth, and its comfort, before it turns cold. It stops protecting me, and turns ice cold. I push that thought from my head, I paint it better than I know it is, I want this, I need this. The facade along with it's numbing voice, I knew it would be back. I look at my hands, I look into my eyes staring back at me, and deep into my soul; Where have I gone?
What I was unaware of was that this would happen, over and over again, it would manifest itself inside me, and grow, pushing me out of myself. It would take over my heart, and change me. Like living in a world of fun house mirrors. I can sit infront of a mirror, and feel like two people. I can dissociate myself from my reflection. I do not know why I do this, why I crave this, why I need this, why I chase this down, for it to pull me in and suffocate me. Naive, stupid, foolish girl. Like a blanket, I pull it up, and cover myself in it, I feel its warmth, and its comfort, before it turns cold. It stops protecting me, and turns ice cold. I push that thought from my head, I paint it better than I know it is, I want this, I need this. The facade along with it's numbing voice, I knew it would be back. I look at my hands, I look into my eyes staring back at me, and deep into my soul; Where have I gone?
Sunday, 31 May 2009
For the dream,
I find it really sad that I can only write this because I need a break from biology. I know so much it's coming out of my ears, but yet there is still topics upon topics I don't know.
I am not creative today.
Today, i am dull. I hate being uncreative, I am drained.
This is probably the shortest blog ever.
meh.
I am not creative today.
Today, i am dull. I hate being uncreative, I am drained.
This is probably the shortest blog ever.
meh.
Quote 001.
I guess I've never really understood myself, enough to make my own real decisions. I know what I like, and dislike, but I do not know myself deep down, the ins and the outs and the way I work. I know i can feel everything at once, or nothing at all. I know I could be the happiest I've ever been with just a few special people. I know I could dance for hours, and talk all night, and laugh untill I cry about something so small that it has next to no significance. But when it comes down to it, I don't know myself, because none of these things could shape my future. These things can't make my decisions for me, and that, that's where I get lost.
Quote 002.
My dream is to be happy. I'm not working hard for the grades to get me somewhere in life, I'm working for the grades to get me something out of life - Happiness; that is what i'm working towards.
I guess I've never really understood myself, enough to make my own real decisions. I know what I like, and dislike, but I do not know myself deep down, the ins and the outs and the way I work. I know i can feel everything at once, or nothing at all. I know I could be the happiest I've ever been with just a few special people. I know I could dance for hours, and talk all night, and laugh untill I cry about something so small that it has next to no significance. But when it comes down to it, I don't know myself, because none of these things could shape my future. These things can't make my decisions for me, and that, that's where I get lost.
Quote 002.
My dream is to be happy. I'm not working hard for the grades to get me somewhere in life, I'm working for the grades to get me something out of life - Happiness; that is what i'm working towards.
Simplicity and Wonder
I didn't really expect to be up this late, or early, whatever way you look at it.
I just looked out my curtains, and saw the sun rise, and now i think i might as well not even go to bed because i need to get up and revise tomorrow as well.
but I think if i go to bed now, and get up at 10:30 latest, that's 6 and a half hours sleep.
Only trouble being - i'm not tired.
anyway, this was a useless and completely pointless blog.
I just thought i'd write about seeing the sunrise.
:)
I just looked out my curtains, and saw the sun rise, and now i think i might as well not even go to bed because i need to get up and revise tomorrow as well.
but I think if i go to bed now, and get up at 10:30 latest, that's 6 and a half hours sleep.
Only trouble being - i'm not tired.
anyway, this was a useless and completely pointless blog.
I just thought i'd write about seeing the sunrise.
:)
Quote 001.
It's the nights that turn into early mornings, and the unexpected, yet unending sunrises and sunsets that she lives for. The summer nights that turn into the next day, with no apparent reason. She does it for the sake of doing so. The sake of living and breathing simplicity and wonder.
It's the nights that turn into early mornings, and the unexpected, yet unending sunrises and sunsets that she lives for. The summer nights that turn into the next day, with no apparent reason. She does it for the sake of doing so. The sake of living and breathing simplicity and wonder.
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